When I started going to college back in 2020, I was established with the fact that I will be able to cruise through my business administration program easily. I had a background in commerce from high school and I was confident- maybe overconfident, about what I might expect from my studies. I went ahead, took a flight, and landed in Canada to pursue my studies. Did it go all according to what I was expecting? Definitely not!
When I think back now and try to figure out what was the driving factor that made me board my first flight ever on my own, without any experience of the new world and the know-how of practical implications connected to the step that I took, there is only one answer that comes to my mind which is "ego".
Now, this may sound extreme or confusing because how could travel to a new country be considered an act influenced by ego? Well, first of all, I was 18 years old! And I'm sure you might have some slight idea that at that age, people don't always make good decisions, at least given the context that they are not some high-level genius. This also makes me think that at that age, at least for me, you think you can do anything and everything. Basically, you are impulsive, reckless and a bad decision-maker. You make decisions influenced by your peers without thinking about the probable outcomes. You do all the possible stupid things that you can think of and you take a challenge without understanding what is in the challenge. Flying from your home country to a new one without anyone helping or assisting you in your forthcoming decisions is definitely not something you can handle easily which is difficult to comprehend when your ego is driving you and you are being driven into the unknown.
I made a lot of bad decisions because I was influenced by my ego which said, "I am fully capable of making my own decisions because I just know what is the right thing to do." And there I go. One bad decision=bad performance=bad consequence on my plate. When I made my decision to board that plane, was I capable enough for that? or was I being influenced by my ego which said that I am more than capable of doing this!
See, the point is that ego lies in almost every decision we make in our day-to-day lives. As every decision is connected to another, it works like a chain reaction. For instance, if I score 100% on my exam today, I'm gonna feel ecstatic and start thinking that I can easily score the same next time, which is gonna make me think that I don't need to study a lot to score well as I am already capable of doing that and hence, the job is done. But no, the job is not done there, 'one achievement' is not fulfillment and 'one failure' is not the end.
There is a straight line that goes in between these two scenarios. Walking on that straight line and having balance is the key. I have learnt about my ego from a lot of harsh failures. I was devastated by opposite-than-expected outcomes, felt confused about reality and was judged by life.
After all the problems and realizations, I have come to fathom the importance of keeping my ego in check. I've come this far, curious to know more about what's to come!
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